A slightly above-average achiever's guide to parenting
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Don't Be a Better You
January 3, 2015
I don't read mommy blogs. I know, that's weird. I AM a mommy blog. But I never read them before I started writing my own blog because because I didn't really read blogs. And then once I started writing this, I thought I better "scope out the ole competition" but when I checked out a few of them, I got super weirded out and realized these are not "my people".
I'm sure there are some funny/cool mommy bloggers who I would want to be friends with (and maybe Jenny Lawson of www.thebloggess.com could be counted as a "mommy blogger" but she has more posts about taxidermy than parenting, so I think she's a blogger who just happens to be a mother, so she doesn't count). But by and large, most of the mommy bloggers seem to be talking about "how to cook a dinner made of farm fresh organic ingredients", or "25-step crafts to do with your little Picasso" or some way to "be a better you". Cook better, craft better, clean better, BE better.
I hope you've been reading long enough to know, I am not that kind of person.
I don't know what made me listen to this advice when I was a teenager, but I read it in some magazine in high school which was talking about body image. The article said something that's stayed with me to this day. The point of the advice was this: Don't spend your time hating your body. It's going to be your body for a long time, if you're lucky. And you're stuck with it. So you can talk about hating your thighs, or how you don't like your hair, or whatever else you don't like. Or you can learn instead to love your body.
While this was about body image, it's about perspective and can obviously be applied to anything. It's about changing the way you view things rather than changing the thing itself. And yes, there are times when you should strive to be healthier and work out more, or cook better meals, or clean your house. But hell, there are times when you need to stop and instead change your perspective and say "I'm doing a damn good job!" It's why I'm a big believer in dolling out praise as much as we criticize. And it's why I spend more time playing with Chewbacca than worrying about dirty dishes or whatever else isn't done in my house.
As cheesy as it is, I hope my blog is a reminder of that. I hope I tell enough stories of how my house is a mess, how I've ordered takeout for the third night in a row, how Chewie is playing with shoes in my closet instead of toys, how he's actually putting the shoes IN HIS MOUTH. Ugh, that's disgusting.
Okay, I had to stop typing because that's my limit. That was gross, even for me.
Anyway, what I'm saying is, those other mommy bloggers, while perfectly nice, are wrong. You don't need to do better at anything. I promise you that if you ask your kids, they'll tell you that you're the perfect mom. And it doesn't get better than that.