A slightly above-average achiever's guide to parenting
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April 28, 2014
My husband and I have a long-standing joke that in college, although we were perfectly smart enough to be A+ students, we decided that the extra work to get an A+ wasn't worth it. So we consciously decided to get a B+ average. We rationalized that the extra time spent getting an A+ was better spent on things like having friends and partying, making us much more well rounded individuals. While much of this theory is to ease our bruised egos of not being the “smartest” kids on our classes, there is some truth to it.
In a world where you can see on Pinterest just how inadequate of a crafter/homemaker/cook/baker/mother you are, I’ve embraced B+ motherhood, freeing up a lot more of my time to spend it with my family.
Radhika Nagpal, a computer science professor at Harvard, wrote a fascinating piece about surviving the tenure track at Harvard and spoke (more articulately than myself) about this very topic. In her article, she gave one piece of advice which I’ve tried to embrace, which is to be “the best whole person I can be”. She states: At work we hail the person for whom science and teaching is above all else, who forgets to eat and drink while working feverously on getting the right answer, who is always there to have dinner and discussion with eager undergrads. At home we admire the parent who sacrificed everything for the sake of a better life for their children, even at great personal expense. The best scientists. The best parents. Anything less is not giving it your best… in such a world I was destined to suck at both. . . I’m pretty sure that the best scientists by the above definition are not in the running for most dedicated parent or most supportive spouse, and vice versa. And I’m not interested in either of those one-sided lives. I am obsessively dedicated to being the best whole person I can be.”
Instead of comparing myself to those wholly-dedicated parents/attorneys/friends/daughter-in-laws/volunteers/etc., I’ve decided instead that if I can get a B+ at any of those roles, I’m more than an A+ whole person. Which is why I created this blog. It's all the tips and advice I could compile about Boston--a city I love dearly-- and being a parent. It doesn't take a village anymore to raise a child, it takes a city: complete with seamlessweb, peapod grocery delivery, and great babysitters. This website is a guide to what I've discovered in Boston as a parent, and some tips on how to be a B+ parent, and an A+ whole person.